Going Backwards
The past few days, I have noticed that I have been extremely moody and short with people. There were a couple of days I spent either crying a lot or just wanting to. Today, I decided I would do this no more.
See, for years I battled depression. This past year, I have finally come out of the fog and begun to live my life. Mind you, it's no glorious life at the moment, but it is mine. I'm not sure how I did it or exactly when it happened. All I know is that sometime during the changes that were made in the past year, I realized that I was handling the hard thing all alone and I wasn't curled into the fetal position willing them away. I was pushing forward.
Maybe it was the news that we would have to wait indefinitely for a response from the judge. Or maybe it is the amount of time I have spent with my ex lately. I don't know. But these past few days, I just haven't been able to see the good. The negative aspects have just been hanging around weighing my moods down.
So, today, I decided to start changing that. I just kept busy with forward momentum. It was slow. It was barely even forward at all. But it wasn't backward and it wasn't negative. And tomorrow I will do the same.


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