Some months ago my best friend told me I should get a grown-up phone. Turns out she was tired of the spotty service, lack of minutes, and other features my pay-as-you-go service provided. This service was something I was very happy with. Yet, I knew she was right. I am in my thirties, it was time to grow up and make a standing commitment…Ugh.

Within a few weeks, I signed a two year contract with one of the nation’s largest cell phone carriers. Mostly because my family makes up a large percentage of their customers already thus providing us free access to call each other. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)My new phone had great minutes, unlimited texting, and did lots of really cool things. But that two year contract made my head spin. Commit-a-phobes don’t handle contracts well.

Fast forward six months or so:

True to my commitment fearing ways, my car is paid for. Yet it has a few issues. So in my mind there are two options, fix it or pay cash for another one. Only my cash funds aren’t screaming dependable ride and the car I have would require more work than it is worth. The commit-a-phobe must now venture into a car lot!!!!

The first trip I backed out of the pending deal. Why? I just couldn’t bring myself to spend that much money every month on a car with no air conditioning. Or at least that was my excuse at the time. I was trying to be practical and stay within budget.

On the second trip, I managed to stay close to budget but by this time I had no choice. I had to have a car or I was going to pray my car made it home without running hot first. It was not a good day. I found a car I liked at a price I was okay with. Against everything I have ever been taught about buying cars I did not even pop the hood first. Why? Fear. I knew I need to buy that car regardless. There wasn’t anything else there I could afford. My car likely wouldn’t make it home as the battery light had been on for three days. So, without a bit of excitement, I signed the papers. The commit-a-phobe had just signed a three and a half year contract.

And now I sit thinking about it and wonder what have I done? I do not like to have ties to anywhere. At least with the phone the contract travels. But this car is through a local lender. It’s like I just set down a three and half year deep root in a place I want to leave as soon as possible. The thought alone makes me want to lose my lunch.