The holidays are yet again upon us. Bright lights line the streets. Stores are filled with shoppers looking for the perfect sale on the perfect gift. Children are finishing up their wish lists. And then there is me…

I have always fully enjoyed the magic of the holidays. Yet the past several years have tainted me. Now I mostly view it as another reason to spend money. Not that I ever find a lack of reason to do that. When I was a kid it seemed as though anything was possible this time of year. Even as I grew older and blossomed into the awkward early adulthood stage, Christmas still seemed a pretty magical experience. Our families always gathered to large tables of food prepared with love. We set aside differences to please Mother even if for only one day.

After years of disappointments, bad decisions, and wrong turns down the highway of life the luster of the season has faded. I no longer leave change in the buckets of overly chipper bell ringers. My smile is nonexistent as I approach any store between November and January. The to-do list rules my days and wallet.

As much I dislike the holidays, I love the events that tend to occur during them. Last year as my world seemed to be falling apart around me, my friends rallied around. They were all wonderful but one stood out in his efforts by not just being there for me but by including me. He went with me to go Christmas shopping for the kids. We made gingerbread cookies together. And on Christmas day when the kids left and went to their dad’s for the afternoon, he invited me to join his family for dinner.

This year, my life has luckily taken several turns for the better. Yet as I prepare to do my holiday shopping, I realize it doesn’t feel right to do it without him. And I certainly can’t let the season go by without making the cookies. I’m excited that I can give my children the things they want for Christmas. And soon I will start with my annual candy making.

Though I hate that Christmas has become such a commercial holiday and still often feel that it sucks the life out of me, I manage to enjoy the closeness I have with my friends. We don’t always make time for each other during the rest of the year but at Christmas we manage to find a way. Besides having a friend around when I do those tedious tasks makes them seem a little less painful.