As the New Year approached, I began to think of my resolutions. Now, this is a special New Year. It is more than a new year, it is a new decade. I knew my resolutions had to be equally as special and important. However, it would be hard to top last year.

After much thinking about the simple easy things I had neglected the past few months like getting back to my work out routine, posting regular blog posts, focusing more on my finances, etc, I discovered that I needed to look much deeper. I thought about all the incredible turns my life had taken in the past year. It was a really wonderful year, but there is still room for improvement on my life. In reviewing the things I have done and not done, I ran across one very important thing I had not done which many experts say is a primary key to happiness. Forgive.

In the thirty-three years I have graced this world I have had some pretty terrible things happen to me. I have not always been the innocent victim. There have been plenty of times I have done horrible things to other people. The first person on my list of people to forgive would be me.

Forgiving one’s self is possibly the most difficult task of all. Why? Because I can’t lie or make excuses for the things I’ve done. I know the horrible things I have done. Even the things my closest and dearest friends may not be aware of. Self forgiveness though not easy is very necessary. And, as I am discovering, an ongoing process.  

On the other hand, there are those who have hurt me, wronged me, or just plain been a thorn in my side. To each of them I must show forgiveness. The most difficult on this list are the ones I cared the most for. After all, this list contains two ex husbands, my father, and my biological mother. Actually it probably contains a good portion of my family. This list must be tackled slowly, and with much caution.

When I forgave my second husband he argued that all should now be forgotten as well. I do forgive those who have damaged me the most, but I will never forget. Why?That is how we learn our life lessons. I now know what not to accept, fall for,and teach my children is just morally wrong. These people are no longer worth my anger and hurt. But I will never forget the truths that have brought me to where I am.

As I forgive those on my list, I will apologize to them as well. The ones with whom I have things to apologize for. That is the majority of the list.

We have now entered a new year and these are my resolutions:

5.)Restart a workout routine.

4.)Pay more attention to my finances.

3.)Learn to love and be loved in return.

2.)Apologize to those I have wronged.

1.)Forgive.